Friday, November 11, 2005
But I find myself resenting me, regretting so much the things that I do in social situations, bonking and lowing my head when I realize what an asshole I made of myself when I realize my mistakes. It always seems to happen that way. I’ll be saying something, whether serious or jokingly to someone. They smile politely like they think I’m funny or do something. That only leads to me discovering a few days later that what I was saying probably offended them to the core, or at the very least made them think I’m an insensitive jerk, which I guess may very well be true judging from what I said. It’s so hard when you first meet knew people and you don’t know a great deal about them. You get all those lousy assumptions in your head about who they are. They aren’t conscious thoughts, they aren’t even ones that you notice. They’re sublte little impulses along the lines of “I bet it would be okay if I talked about this with them.” I guess I am just a horrible judge of person. I love people, I really do…but no matter what I do I feel like I’m not a good friend. I am not a very affectionate person although I wish I could be more so. I feel extremely awkward in any situation where I am unsure about myself, which really sucks for me because that is almost always. I am not a very supportive person, although I try to be. People talk to me about their problems sometimes and there isn’t a single thing in the world I would rather do then help them. But I can’t seem to do it. I try and think of something to say: some upswing to their predicament, some piece of worldly wisdom to make them see another side, some way to help them feel better, any god damn fucking thing to help them. But I choke up…I can’t do it, I can’t think of anything to say. I completely lose my ability to be articulate when something is on the line. I guess it relates to my sad lack of confidence...
I really have no right to be bitching though. During my high school life, and especially since senior year started I have met a number of people who have life so much harder than I do it makes me want to cry. How can I bitch and moan about my own issues when my life is as great as it is? Everyone handles situations differently, and my way is typically to be cheery and make jokes. I consider it a blessing that I am able to do this; that I don’t get myself too wound up in the pressures of life; that I can simply laugh them off. It’s the only way that I can remain myself, and the only way that I can remain stable. But it’s the people who have life at home, at school, with love, with friends, with everything much tougher than I do that I truly want to help. Their problems far, far outweigh anything that I have ever had to deal with. Those are the people that I wish I could help. And that is where I resent myself, because I find I have an inability to do it.
Maybe it’s just the new pressures of senior year or maybe it’s something else, but I’ve put myself on a quest of self-improvement over the past few months. I’ve attempted to be more socially open, more friendly, more sensitive to other people, better at making friends, and above all more confident about myself when talking to others. Sadly enough, I see little progress up to this point and it discourages me from continuing. I guess it’s one of those psychological deals where you can’t change who you are no matter how hard you try. I hope that isn’t it though, because I wish I was different…
I’m probably going to regret posting this, but today sucked and I felt like being a whiny bitch. If you read it…first off why the hell do you check my blog? And second, thanks a bunch.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
I shed a small tear for our dearly departed.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Figured that it had been sufficently long since my last post...
I like to watch movies alot. I saw quite a few this year, and I figured that I could make a cinematic 2004 year in review. Of course I wont list every movie I saw, because I forget shit like that.
First, for the good news:
The Incredibles: A very enjoyable movie. The graphics were incredible (OMGPUN!) and the story was compelling and funny. The baby sucked though.
Friday Night Lights: The best sports movie I have ever seen, hands down. It beat out such other great films as The Big Green, the Sand Lot, and Air Bud. As you can clearly see, it is up there among royalty...Whether you like football or not, see this.
The Aviator: I have a new found respect for Leo after seeing this film. It was an eeriely well done movie, and the acting was supurb. Plus, Howard Hughes liked milk, and everyone knows that liking milk makes you a badass.
Kill Bill 2: Do I even need to explain myself?
Runner up category:
Shrek 2: An enjoyable movie. Not anywhere as good as the first, but still worth the 9.50 that my mom payed for me to see it.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Actually, quite a good flick. Should probably have put it up above, but didn't remember it until now, and god gnoes I dont want to press the up arrow 6 times. Just don't see it in iMax.
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Jim Carrey is always a riot. Well done movie, although it looked like it was done by Chris Colombus, who I would rather vomit upon and then urinate upon then look at. Eh...woot for the biting baby.
Miracle: Another fun movie to watch. The Hockey action was done well. USA USA USA!
Supersize Me: Interesting film. Made me think twice about fast food. Then I disregarded it and I'm back to my old habits.
Sky Captian and the World of Tomorrow: This only goes here because of the cool visuals. The physics and plot(plot?) were rather lackluster.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why the hell did everyone love this movie so much? It was okay, nothing special.
The first circle of hell:
The Village: What was M. Night on when he thought up this idea? "Hey, I have idea. How about these dood are in the past....and this chick in blind, then they arn't in the past and I get a cameo????????????????????????"
The Forgotten: An interesting plot, but done shittily. The only reason it is up here and not further down is due to the dissapearing.
I, Robot: Although enjoyable, really rather stupid. In the words of Maddox, it could be done in 3 minutes. Have Will Smith buy Dose X's beer, drink it all, then walk outside and urinate on Issac Isamov's grave.
Waaaaaaaay down in the shitter:
Troy: You knew it was coming. What in all of fuck did Wolfgang Petterson eat the night before he squeezed this diarrhea out of his ass during next morning's hangover? Orlando Bloom...Eric Bannah....we all know a shit festival is around the corner. I think this could be about summed up similar to I, Robot, but replace Isamov's grave with Homer's, Achilles', all of antiquial times', the entire human population's, and Apollo's graves and replace urinate with befowl multiple times before relieving yourself multiple times before hacking to pieces and burning.
King Arther: Noticing a trend? All large scale legendary films after LotR were crappy. Here are a few facts deducted from this film.
1: Merlin is infact a bum. A fucking bum. No wizarding, no magic, no badassness, a fucking Vegabond.
2: Arther lived in Roman times, not during the Middle Ages. That is right. Monty Python was wrong. Now I don't know what to believe.
3: Member's of Arther's court were not affected by cold, and could therefore wear skimpy clothing, and bra-strapped bikinis in the fucking snow. Killer ain't it?
National Tresure: I have a question for you. If you have just saved the world from a psycho killer(who was Sean Bean by the way, and was therefore the best character), uncovered a multi-century old riddle, and secured 10 billion dollars to be largely donated to charity, would you believe you deserved a reward? What? A billion dollars is just to much money for you? Wow....what a mother fucking dumb ass you are. *slap* *beat to death*
Elecktra: I was really loving this movie. Really, really loving this movie. Then those fucking bitchs had to ruin it. That's why it goes down here.
Seriously though, fuck this movie.
I would give the past year a C in films, because there were some good ones, but the bad ones really stunk the shit out of Century Theaters.
Thank you for reading this year in review. Expect my next post, oh...come 2007.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Woot for makeshift titles.
Anyways, I had a drivers ed class the last two weekends. After having put off signing up for a class for longer then I probably should have, I signed up for this one. And of course my mom, being a mom, went and spread the world all over kingdom come. So Scott Lydon, who you may or may not know, and Josh, who if you don't know then don't belong here, ended up coming with me, which was a great relief. They were the only beacons of humanity with which I could retain my sanity from the incessent ramblings of the teacher.
All in all, the class wasn't to bad. The worst part was the times and how it blew my weekends, but oh well; better to get it done(Stogs!) quickly then to take a whole quarter class. The teacher was awesome. He was a Puerto Rician New Yorker with an attitude that makes you wonder what dumbfuck employed him to teach children about how to be safe. He was apparently an ex-jail cop, and would always go off on tangents about how he exercised police brutality on the inmates and how he found people with pot stashes hidden under their balls. Interesting. He would swear constantly during the class, tell us the answers to all the quizzes, show us a bunch of movies and then let us out 2 hours early because he wanted to watch the Yankees game. For once, the Yankees actually had some practical use in existing.
Josh starting bringing cards, and on the last day, during all the movies, we just ended up playing poker with Scott, some kid named Morton(or Milton, or Monty, or some such shit), some Mexican kid who was probably the best player I had ever played against, and some other douchebag of a guy who ended up losing all his money(yay!). Somehow, I actually ended the day up about a dollar in coins(5 cents was the main demonination we were using). The teacher didn't care. A few times, infact, he actually walked by and stopped to observe a hand. I'm glad he was teaching it and not some real teacher who may have cared if we gave a shit what he was saying.
Is it just me, or are alot of famous people dying as of late? The guy who played Superman, Rodney Dangerfeild, Rick James, some World Series MVP; I'm glad I'm not famous, otherwise I may be sucking led right now.
That'll be all.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
And now I'm learning how to be a green driver. It's all about the shifty eyes. If you're a red driver then fuck you. You make the world an unsave place you jackass. Thanks a lot! I should find your house, blow down the door and casterate your ass. That'll teach you to fuck me over with your unsave driving.
And on a lighter note, the Giants fucked up and are now fucked. So in their absence, go Red Sox.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Then the next time I ate was at lunch + 15 minutes when I was able to actually speak to someone in the busniess of fooding. At that time, I gave then an insane amount of money and recieved some circular fecal matter in return. God carlmont fucking sucks this year at cafeterias. =
Then I got home and had some chinese food. Fried rice and Chow Mein go quite good togeather, espically if it it eaten while people bitch at you to update your blog. That leads to shit like this.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
And it sickens me now I look like the root of all evil.
Oh, and it would also seem Blogger does not want to allow me to post a picture of him. I frankly dont blame it. Who would want to see.....*coughorlandobloomfromblackhawkdowncough*...
*runs away from advancing Marx*
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
The trip went good(dont expect details because it is to late for that) except for the end. 7 hour fucking delay on my plane. It was supposed to reach SF at around 7:30 pm, ended up getting here around 2:30 am. Wonderous.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Hey all. Sorry I haven't been updating at all. I just no longer have anything to say nor any motivation to say it when I do. However, I do have a bit of a personal announcement to make. I'm going back to Mexico(don't ask me) for a week, leaving on Sunday. So expect me to come back with charred skin and a spanish vocabulary that has prehaps been enhanced 2 or possibly even 3 fold, meaning that I learned 2 or 3 new words.
And I have nothing else to say.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
I finally got out of summer school, which i guess was last week, but it feels good. My class was probably the easiest I have ever taken, yet at the same time most certianly the boringest(Is that even a word? If not, it'll go up on the shelve with hyperbapetitation). I got to sit there in the front row of my class, thus unable to sleep, while Mr. White, the football coach for those who dont know him or those I haven't already told, lectures us about Marijuana or Cocaine or Safe Sex or Nutrition...
But it sounds like I got the long straw of the deal. Maurice had a different teacher for Safety Ed in summer school and he had all this homework and a 100 question final. I only had a small amount of inclass work each day. =D
On a different matter, me and Chris went to see King Arthur yesterday. There isn't much that can really be said about it, seeing as how there wasn't really much in the movie to talk about, but I'll suffice to say that it was pretty crappy. Have you seen Troy? Think Troy, only crappier and in England, and you've got King Arthur. The movie itself completely butchered the legend itself(one example is Lancelot dies at the battle of Badeon Hill, and thus could not physically have an affair with Arthur's bitch, Guenievere) and forced even me out of my seat for a candy break.
The 2 best parts of the movie were in the previews they showed the trailer for a new movie with his highness Sean Bean in it. And the second part was talking about how the movie needed Sean Bean in it. Then it would be good. :) Good times.
So, I guess we are going to try and assemble everyone again for preliminary shootings on Underdog again today, so let's hope that works out.
I would find a picture to put here, but I dont want to.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
I'd say that about sums it up...eh?
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Finally got to see Gamma Squad. Aside from some weird sound cuts, it looked pretty good. Except the script seemed to be revamped to include the word Fuck atleast thrice in every line. Good job Lash and Barker.
Well, I dont really have anything else to say, except that I may be going on the europe trip next summer, even though it is not set in stone. I would have to raise all the money meself, but I think I may be able to do that...so that would be lots of fun.
And that is it!
Wow, my posts are getting shorter and shorter...
Friday, June 04, 2004
WHO THE FUCK AM I?
I understand that some people have "identity crises" where they believe they have lost face with themseles, and no longer understand why they exist, so some other angsty shit. I am not having an identity crisis with my self. The world is having an identity crisis with me.
As most of you know, when I tell people my name, they often will go "Okay Gary" or "Nice to meet you Jerry" or some other shit.
Throughout this year, Mr. Guzman has called me Gary, and even once Jerry. I dont have a problem with it. I find it very funny as a matter of fact. That I can live with.
However, today the shit hit the fan. I got my yearbook and was happily looking through it. As always I dont have any extranious pictures in there(ya gotta be a friend of someone on yearbook committee), but I knew that I had one coming for Tennis. I didn't have one last year as I had missed picture day, yet I proceeded with confedence this time, knowing fully that I had been there that time. I come to the page and see myself thusly...
...in the middle row to the far left. And thats all good and cool....however, upon closer inspection, I discover this little mishap.
For those of you that are slow, that is where my name should be.
Okay, I typically have good humor about this sort of stuff, but can anyone explain to me what the fuck this is all about? IS THE NAME GARRETT TO HARD TO FUCKING FIGURE OUT? DO YOU HAVE TO REPLACE IT WITH GARY AND "THOMAS DELAPLAINE"? WHAT THE FUCK!?!
How the hell could you mix these two people up?
Does equal ???? Am I missing somthing?
Not to mention they also accused Yuri(seen in the picture above of me) of being Tyler Nelson.
Anyways...I just dont get why people can never figure my name out. Whatever...
Thats all I have to say.
-Garrett "Gary" "Thomas Delaplaine" Somers
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Why the fuck can't people ever admit the sort of shit that they like? There is a social norm that everyone, regardless of what they think, will morph into. Whither it is a certian type of music to dislike, or a certian type of clothing style, or a certian way you have to talk. Today I got sort of pissed for various reasons(no, it doesn't have to do with Toxic) about this. I try and be honest(I know I am not always though; everyone will somewhat be like what I said) and try to admit things wholeheartedly that I like. The opinions that some people have about people with other opinions sickens me somtimes. Alot of you probably know that I am a pokèmon fan. Yeah, im not ashamed of it. But I was in a chat room the other day talking about it, and the ignorance that this group of retarded people showed in reference to it was breattaking. It turned out they had never even seen the show, played the game, or done anything in relation to it(although they wouldn't admit it, it was obvious). However, they seemed to represent the idea that if you like that show you are a childish retard. That is the sort of ignorance that pisses me off. I know someone is going to come on here and make a comment citing an example of where I have done this exact thing, thus defrauding me and a big fat hypocrit, because I know I have. I try not to, but it is so ingraned in our psycology that it is difficult to avoid.
Another topic that pisses me off is the entire concept of conformity. I personally have nothing wrong with conformists, but I fucking hate the ideology behind anti-conforminism. The idea that "woah d00d! I'm gun@ go dew th!s tHins...n0one els3 d0es! LOLLOLOLOLO!!!!!111" is what I view of the majority of those people. Many would probably see my saying that and claim that it is their aim, but it is obvious they only reason anti-conforminism exists is to attempt to be cool. No other reason. Well, that and pissing your parents off. The fact is there are two sides to this issue. One one side you could say people who "conform to social standards"(whatever the hell that means), and those that "go against social standards"(whatever the hell that means). Hey idiots! Wake up and smell the bloody coffee! You're being an anti-conforminist along with another 3 billion people on this earth! All you are doing is conforming to anther social standard! Get off your asses and conform. Trust me, it will make your life a hell of a lot better.
The idea of "coolness" has been eating away at my mind. Most people have a similar idea of what it means to be cool, although they will often say that their thought different. Nuh-uh. No they don't. The common idea of coolness today is in my mind the idea of rejection. Sure, it is considered cool to dislike X and to like Y, but mostly to dislike X. If you're the kind of person who sits in a corner and insults people constantly, you will probably think of yourself as cool. Case in point: those douchebags I was talking about earlier. Were they cool? Yeah. Should they be considered cool? No. I always figured you could have alot more respect for people who are open about their opinions then those that are closed about them.
Meh, I'm done ranting.
Anyway, other stuff that is going on. School is almost out! Woohoo! Two more weeks and then finals...then it is all over. *summer dance*
Last week, me and Neight bought tickets to a Giants/Cubs game that we will be going to over the summer. August 6th to be exact. Should be awesome.
Monday, May 17, 2004
*Led Zepplin plays*
BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I UPDATED!
BEEN A LONG LONEY LONEY LONEY LONEY LONEY TIME!
*Led Zepplin ends*
I wrote a poem about Stogner, loosely inspired by Josh's war poem. Only in that it follow the Raven syntax:
Once upon a Tuesday waking, as I walked with shoulders aching
and the clouds above me breaking, as they covered up the sun,
Then it started swiftly pouring, and my soul inside me soaring
Next to him I stood imploring, don’t make me the mile run
Look inside your evil heart and don’t make me the mile run
Quote the Stogner, “Get it done.”
As I gaped there unbelieving, contemplating, self-deceiving
‘Round the track I began weaving, PE having just begun
Bored I was, began to waver, decided for a breath saver
Returned to class and did not waver, but he said “Another One”
Please I cried don’t make me go back out for just another one!
Quote the Stogner, “Get it done.”
I'll write more later...
Somtime in this week if I gain proper motivation, I will change my blog into the Spade Headquarters, complete with different colors(if I can find how to) and an entirely new picture. So whoopie. And no Josh, this is not the racial term. You getting mad for this would be the equivalent of me boycotting crackers for their offensive name. It just happens to be the name we have aquired as our offical title. So nyah.
Well, ill see if I can work that out. And I may need some help on how to alter my blog, so if that is so, expect a few questions to be asked all of you.
Friday, April 30, 2004
Just got back from Carlmont's deul presentation of Vanities and A Few Good Men. Both were good and looked like a pretty runofthemill highschool presentation. Kudos to Neight, Eliot, and Mandy(not that she will ever read this) on doing a bangup job.
Anyways, I only have 3 more hours of community service to fulfill for Renyolds, and then I get a free weekend. Huzzah.
Thats it, I guess.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Me, Tomas, and a host of others made a movie over the weekend for a school project. I thought it was pathetic, but I guess some people liked it. Oh well, I guess it is the grade that counts, and that remains to be seen.
I feel like shit and am full of foreboding. I have yet to do any of my community service for the project that is due on Monday. >.<
Oh well, Im sure it will end well.
I hope this post finds you well as well.
See ya. :)
Friday, April 16, 2004
I will say a few things about it, and a few things only.
1. It kicked major ass.
2. Daryl Hannah got bitch slapped.
3. Budd sucks the cock.
4. Bill likes Superman.
5. It kicked major ass.
6. Uma's name sucks the cock.
7. Samual L. Jackson kicked the cock.
8. See it or suffer the wrath of Stogner allmighty.
Yeah, so it was good.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
But that ain't the primary focus of this post...
My mom finally got around to developing all this old film she had, and look what popped up:
Pictures from the January 2003 anti-war protest! Woohoo! I call the above one "Five guys, two girls, two moms, and one bitchin' train ride to hell."
Heres a nice group picture with me doing....uh....somthing unspeakable to Neight with the propaganda signs in the back round. This one is titled "Can you feel the love tonight?"
This is the last of the ones I scaned, but there are a ton more. This one is entitled "Fight the power."
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Then I proceeded to watch Kill Bill: Volume One, which, once again kicked some major ass. Friday better get here soon...
Well, see ya'll tomorrow.